When Cultures Clash!

Meeting the parents…

Doing so can really be a mixed bag.  Even more so when their culture differs from your own.  Add the fact that they’re judgmental, and you got a ticking bomb waiting to explode.

By some spur of the moment decision this woman made in her head, she thought it’d be a good idea that I met her parents.  They were coming to Indy to pick up a relative flying in from their home country.

“You’ll be the first guy I’ve ever let them meet…maybe you shouldn’t go.  Wait, do you want to go?  I’m really really nervous.”

I just told her not to worry…it’s not like I’m going spill all the beans about our sex life or pick my nose at the dinner table.  What could go wrong?

So we go to this nice restaurant in the Broad Ripple area of Indianapolis…that’s a pretty busy – but nice – area of town for those of you that don’t know.  I immediately made eye contact with her dad when we walked up and shook his hand.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that her mom was pretty much dissecting me with her eyes.  If looks could kill…DAMN.

We went into the restaurant to get seated, and the food comes.  My girl’s sisters are there with their boyfriends (all of whom I’ve already met previously) and her younger brother is there (who I just met that day).  I made it a point not to sit close to her parents because I really didn’t feel like getting the 21 Questions while I was trying to eat.  That could come later.

The dinner atmosphere was warm and inviting…to everyone except me.  I still couldn’t escape her mother’s gaze though…even when she WASN’T looking at me, I felt like she was.  And on top of that, I was always left out of the conversations.  Her mom and dad were all talking to everyone else, chopping it up, laughing and all that jazz…until it came to me.  When ever I would try to chime in, they would shut up.  It was very disconcerting to say the least.

After dinner, I hung back when leaving the restaurant to be close to her dad…prompting him to talk to me.  He asked me a few general questions, but outside of those, he was pretty quiet.  The family, including me and the sisters’ boyfriends, all walked back to the cars.  I tried to indirectly jump off a convo between me and her mom, but it was over before it started.  There were times when she’d just look at me until I got the hint.

So, with that, I hugged and kissed my girl (not in front of the parents…even though we grown) and went to the crib.  The next day, I got an explanation for how her parents acted.

It seems that they’re not very open to the idea of their daughters dating.  Arranged marriage is very important in their culture, but since they raised their kids in America, they’re trying to be open to the western concept of dating…but that doesn’t mean that the like it.  Another thing is that the other sisters’ boyfriends have been around longer than me, so of course they’re more receptive to them.  They are very judgmental, and maybe the tat on my neck kinda turned them off.

I understand their point of view, but I feel like it would be nice if they would actually try to get to know and shit before they write me off as some thug or whatever.  Oh well though…we got all the time in the world for me to get in good with her parents.  I just think it’s wild that mom dukes ain’t say a damn word to me besides hi and bye.  Wow.

I’m still grateful, though.  It could have been worse…at least they ain’t come right out and say “I don’t like this guy.”  At any rate, take from this what you will, and use it wisely.

-The King-

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