Tag Archives: that gentleman

It’s so hard not to act wreckless…

There’s a time and place for everything, right?

I didn’t even watch the VMA’s and heard about it right when it happened. IT, being the stunt that KanYe West pulled on Taylor Swift, but it’s just another fiasco added to Kanye’s long list of media blunders.

Let make me one bold statement – I cannot hate the man for doing it, but I can’t condone it either.

We know what to expect from Mr.West and we can’t expect him to wake because he is who is he is, allowing for the phrase, “everything I’m not, made me everything I am” to ring even more true.

Seems like Kanye’s back to his old self, which could be good or bad for his image/music. If you really think about the artists who were GREAT in their own right, they all had their faults outside of the music and that’s what distinguished them so much. You can’t judge a person by their cover, better yet WE can’t judge people period.  The acts we commit distinguish our legacy on Earth whether they were in good taste or piss poor in judgement.

Sometimes it’s hard for one to control their emotions in the heat of the moment.  Not many of us are blessed with the calm and level headed trait, it’s understood.  We do have the freedom of speech, do we not? Yes, they do say there’s a time and place for EVERYTHING, but that time and place isn’t always guranteed, correct?  Your opinion makes you as an individual, different from others, BUT we do not always get placed upon a pedestal where we’re heard.  The blunt speak for the silent and the silent listen for the deaf, it’s only right.

Take a minute to think of some of the things you’ve done in life and realize that not everyone’s character is perfect, we all have work to do.

So if you’re hoping for Mr.West to change any after this situation.

Don’t worry, he’s already said, “you can’t tell me nothing“.

That Gentleman

There’s a time for everything…

Sometimes in life you have to slow down and just take a break.

We watch the clock but don’t think about how long we spend watching it.

Life goes extremely fast and a lot of the time we do not even try to take in EVERY second of it.

Well, sometimes we have setbacks you know, minor things that FORCE you to take a little rest.  I believe you shouldn’t just ignore that sign when it comes, but you should stop and realize what it’s saying.  Remember how when we were kids and we never wanted to go to sleep because we were afraid that we would miss out on something?

What happened to that mindset?

You always hear the phrase, “there’s not enough time in the day”, but you hardly ever see people gaining the proper thoughts to slow life down into moments. We do a lot of things in life and don’t realize the significance until after the fact, and that goes for almost every situation.  For now, we live to see tomorrow, but why not live for today? The human memory has the capacity to hold a ton of information – see here .

Food for thought – there are 86,400 seconds in a day.  There’s no possible way to remember ever second, but you CAN think about the things you do and remember that your day could only be 86,399 seconds long.

Take a break, enjoy the time that you do have every now and then.


– That Gentleman

Random thoughts of Motivation

Today, I’ll just share some random thoughts of optimism and life’s ideals. The bold are quotes and the nonbolded print are my personal thoughts.

Make the most of what you have. Peace of mind comes from using what you possess.  If there no is no peace, the internal struggles can cause a fight within, that peaks externally, forcing your actual persona to take a back seat.Accomplishment is a matter of great satisfaction to one. Neither riches nor poverty has the inherent power to make many happy. Instead, happiness comes from making the most of what we have, where little or much. While it is evident that wealth is a very convenient thing, it is also admitted that the poor person who enjoys little is much richer than the wealthy who get no joy from his plenty. So the only standard by which we can conclude is when we are really rich..it is because the peace of mind. Success isn’t defined by how much money you have, but rather by the happiness that you possess. Riches can’t buy you what feelings you hope to obtain through having a peace with your heart and your surroundings.

Selfishness destroys character, shrinks the soul, and makes us miserable. Becoming absorbed within the self, causes you to lose sight of what’s infront of you. In order to go forward, you must look ahead and envision yourself getting there. Those who seek joy for their selves only lose it. Material joys are temporary, but happiness obtained through successful work, can last a lifetime. On the other hand, those who drive away the clouds for others will make some sunshine for their selves. The clouds that are floating above do have sunlight behind them,  but only a clear mind and optimism will allow you to see it.

“Look not every man on his own things, but every man als on on the things of others” [Pillipians 2:4]

“Success doesn’t come to you…you go to it.”

Ex’s, how they could damage your relationship (part 2)

QUICK RANT:

Okay, so I’ve been a little bit busy, but now I’m back to business…
I just spent hours in my email inbox. Guess that’s what I get for being away for a while, F MY LIFE =/

Today, I’m going to be talking about a topic that I’ve experienced personally that a lot of people can pretty much relate to. Last time I got into the basics of ex’s, but I’ll go a little bit deeper and more concentrated on this one. It’s another part to the DREADED “ex’s” series, but let’s get into this without further delay. 😉

One Phrase – FATAL ATTRACTION.

Well, a lot of people think it’s quite the idea to have an ex as part of their support system. I mean, in some respects, I CAN sympathize with that thought. It’s a different world today though, in which most relationships are heavily involved sexually. So, you’re asking your new boyfriend or girlfriend to be cool with you using your old cutty buddy as a “confidant”.

Really?

In some cases , it can actually be a good thing, seeing as how there ARE certain individuals with good intentions. I’m not saying that every ex has bad intentions, but a majority of the time, they aren’t staying cool with you to provide guidance. From a guy’s perspective, a lot of the reasons why he hold on to our ex’s is so that we may someday be able to go back to them, given a situation where things fall through. The feeling of having an ex that still wants you emotionally and physically is quite the feeling itself, but I digress. You may have just been in a relationship, where you didn’t quite see eye to eye, so you had to part ways. If that is the case, then I could see how you would want to remain as friends with that person. Now, let’s look at it from another angle. Let’s say you were cheated on by that guy or girl, causing you to end the relationship, but they apologized to you more than Ruben Studdard and you agreed to be friends. Doesn’t that sound a bit sketchy?

There’s a distinct difference between being “great friends” and “just friends”. You may never know if that ex wants to get back with you, so that automatically makes things a bit shady for your new love. If you continue to text/IM/MySpace/Facebook, it’s not going to look good to anyone outside of your previous relationship in ANY case.

Personally, I’ve been in the situation and it didn’t end well at all. To make the story short, I thought I could be friends with one of my ex’s and found out later that she STILL had feelings for me, knowing that I was in a relationship. She had those feelings all along and played the friends role brilliantly, only to cave in to her own heart. They say it’s hard to go in the opposite direction of where heart wants to go, right? Yeah, you may agree to be “just friends,” but in a lot of today’s situations, one of you still has feelings. Let me reiterate, I’m not saying that it isn’t a good idea to be friends with your ex’s. I’m “just” saying it’s not a good idea to be GREAT friends with your ex’s in light of your new relationship and future tension it could cause, when you say, “oh that’s my ex”.

“Oh, that’s just my ex” is what you’ll hear and the key part of that sentence that you will pull out for dissection is the word “just” lol. Why would that have to be thrown in there? For the life of me, I’m trying to figure out, but only a few logical reasons are coming to mind. The intentions your ex may have, could be good, but will they look good to your current lover? It could look completely the opposite to them, I assure you.

Take for instance the song by Trey Songz, “Can’t Help But Wait,”. He’s talking about his girl running back to her ex or vice versa, but why? I’ll tell you why, because even though you may be completely secure in your relationship, the thought of the person before you ALWAYS sits in the back of your mind. It’s in human nature to think of competition and that one person before you could possibly be your biggest competitor. In all seriousness, you could have a crazy ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, which isn’t something you would want in you or your new significant other’s life.

As soon as I thought of that idea, I thought of the movie, “A thin line between love and hate”. I’ll be sharing a little bit more of my stories, the further this series goes, so hold your judgement lol. People, you don’t any situation like that arising, so just do yourself a favor and keep the talk with your ex(s) to a minimum, it might just save you a couple of couch nights and trips to the relationship counselor in the long run 😉

READ PART 1 – HERE

… Until we meet again,

– That Gentleman

Why Do Guys Have “Options” ..

Just another rant

wilted roses

Hmm, been a way for a couple of days, sorry for the wait, we all know how things just pop up (no pun intended) lol. Well, today I’m going to be discussing a very touchy subject, but its very relevant and it could probably give people some insight.

Why guys tend to have so many “options”..yea I know, seems easy to figure out, but you’d be very suprised.

Us guys really are not that hard to understand and most are more sensitive than you would believe. We often keep many “options” when it comes to girls and relationships. You may say “oh, he’s scared of commitment” or “he just wants to have a taste of everything” , but yeah we hear you all talking about us lol.  A large majority of those guys would generally prefer having just one lady, but it get’s quite tricky.  Sometimes being scared of commitment has nothing to do with it, they might just be afraid of the power that women hold. Getting that taste of everything can be quite the task, but there’s too many ladies in the world for that and that’s only asking for trouble.

See, you got your main ladies and your side ladies…and you ask “why does he have to have more than one?”
Well, what happened was, girls have flipped the script on guys, leading us to “step our game up”.  They have really taken hold to the idea that they too can play the game, more than they ever have. Girls of today’s society make it SO easy on guys, in a sense, that it’s really tough to stick it out with one if she’s playing the game as good, if not better than the guy.  When did it become so acceptable to give up the goods, not saying that you shouldn’t at all, but when you could just wink at a lady and get some, it’s gotten quite bad lol.  I mean yeah, you want to play the game too without being called a hoe right? Well look, if you’re going to act like a hoe, then a guy is going to certainly treat you like one, that’s just being real about it. A guy’s main girl could be everything he wants in a wife and his sidechick could be everything he wants in entertainment, get my drift? Sooner or later his mind will settle down and look for “wifey” type, but for now, he’s content in balancing the two until time comes to settle down… Allow me to point this out though, the key denominator in the main girl/side girl situation is what? –> Sex.. Now look back at my statement in regards to girls giving it up.  😉

You must understand that guys LOVE a challenge, not to the point where it seems insurmountable, but to a point where its attainable after some effort. As I stated just a second ago, it isn’t much of a challenge to us anymore so the bigger challenge has become managing more than one girl. Terrible I know, but a lot of the reasoning behind it is based on the girl’s actions. You may have a girl on your roster that gives it up and one that doesn’t, I can gurantee that the one who isn’t giving it up might just be the girl who gets the guy. Different girls offer different things.  I’ll just let one of my favorite hip-hop artists Drake say it for me:

Cause It’s A Fact, If She Come To The Crib And I Get Some Ass Inside
We’ll Never Talk Again, Scary And True

WE WANT IT, BUT WE REALLY DON’T WANT IT

Simply put, when one falls through, you have another..leading back to what I said about a guy always wanting to have a lady. Yes, that could mean that we don’t have much confidence in our current relations, but that depends on your trust level from the beginning. Some guys have been burned by females, others just don’t trust them period, but it happens with females as well.

Guys try to look as masculine as possible to most, but if you are a guy, you know the deal. Several out there just love to hold the attention of females and never want to be without it, which is understandable because having a female’s attention is a great thing too! (yea that was an exclamation point haha)

If you want to be that ONLY one, you gotta prove yourself to be “only one” worthy because as I said, a lot of us don’t really trust women just for simple reasons. We tend to not show our hearts and sensitivity because we are indeed afraid to have it broken, leading us to cry our eyes out while watching ESPN highlights.

Don’t assume that just because a guy has a ton of female friends, that he’s automatically a player, he just may prefer the presence of women more-so than others. If he says he is one that keeps options, he just may want to have the opportunity to find one who he can trust and give his heart to.  It’s a double-edged sword, girls want to be the only one and so do us guys, but nobody is willing to budge because they’re scared of being burned. Once again, COMMUNICATION is a huge key to solving this puzzle. Being able to establish and understand what you want from each other will negate having to argue about it later.

Just remember that not every guy who says, “he has a roster,”  has negative intentions. He may be trying to figure out the right player to fit his system and take him to that championship.

Make it a challenge ladies, don’t be easy, but in saying that, don’t take all hope from us..  Until we meet again

-That Gentleman

Empty Words in Dating

So what does the phrase “empty words in dating” mean? Hmm, allow me to break it down for you. Well, there’s a few different ways you can go with this one, dating back to the “too much communication” or “lack in communication“.

First of, when you communicate  too much, the words that you do say lose importance because they’re stockpiling in your partner’s mind. Think about it, if I have been talking all day to you and I had something IMPORTANT to say, would it really stick out? If I’m texting, calling, etc you all day then when I really do have something that needs to be heard and remember, you may have forgotten about it when it comes time to remember it.  Sometimes we get too caught up in always knowing what each other is doing that we don’t value what it actually means to be able to communicate with someone. Hypothetically let’s say you died today, would those words of love really be remembered along with the rest of the “blah blah blah” that you spouted out? Makes ya think right? Your words could be just watered down with no importance to someone, making them EMPTY all together.

We should place abig emphasis on the words that we actually do say to each other because you never know when that person could be gone. Maybe you’re the hugging – touchy feely type, or maybe you just prefer knowing that they are “there”.  Whatever your case may be, you should always want your boyfriend or girlfriend to cherish the words you say. Time and time again, you hear that phrase “I didn’t mean it,” quite the mental trip eh? You mean to tell a person that when you do say something that they have listened to, pissed or not, that you DIDN’T MEAN IT?!?! When you speak, think about what you say before you say it, realizing the possible reactions to the words you say.

Words of emptiness, broken promises, and lies… sounds bad right?  That is because people who do speak do not place a high enough emphasis on their words to actually follow through with them. I could say “oh I’m going to change,” and my girl would listen and believe it, but it could be another line among plenty others that I’ve said to her.  Like they say “practice what you preach” and “if you say you’re going to do it, DO it”.  It’s always funny to reflect on common sayings and think, “well I’m really not practicing what I preach” lol.  If you’re going to say something to a person, mean it completely, not just half assed. If you’re listening to someone, take their words to meaning and call them out on it if they don’t “practice what they preach”. It is one of those things that you MUST do in order to progress the communication in the relationship/interaction, and we have always seen what a unstable basis of communication between two people can result in.

Personally, I place words on a higher level of importance because I am one of those people who has regretted not saying enough at some point in my life. Once, there was a time where loved ones would be anxiously awaiting a letter, a postcard, something composed of words that could describe a feeling of love. Today, we just wait on that “I love you” text, knowing that what we say in a text is quite possibly something that we can’t even say in person. How ridiculous is that? You can say it on an instant message, a Facebook/Myspace, but can’t fathom putting the words together in person. That’s about where relationships and daily interaction has progressed to. It has led to a reduction in communication as a whole, leaving me and many others with a sad feeling inside because people don’t know how to express themselves through voice, something I’ll discuss at length at the next appointed time.

Well, I guess that was my rant for today, hope you actually got something out of it..Until we meet again

-That Gentleman

Oops, I Forgot To Introduce Myself..

Well, some like to call me An Abstract Gentleman( a simple Corey to MOST), yea it sounds weird, but I can promise you it has a deeper meaning. It stems from quite a few things actually and since I forgot to formally introduce myself, yes very un-gentleman like lol, but allow me to give you a bit of insight on who I am.

ab·stract (b-strkt, bstrkt)
adj.

-Difficult to understand; abstruse
-Having an intellectual and affective artistic content that depends solely on intrinsic form rather than on narrative content or pictorial representation


Gentleman

– A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior.

Combine the two and you have me. Seems simple right?
It doesn’t rarely get understood that easily for being so simple. What is a TRUE gentleman these days? Does he open doors, but smash every girl possible? Does he hold out for the perfect one only to be disappointed?? To some, the word gentleman does not exist because of the standards men today have set for themselves. I call myself an abstract gentleman because even though I may act like a true gentleman, some of my ideas that I conjure in the twisted maze for a head I have, are practical, yet misunderstood. Sometimes I wonder why I act the way I do towards women, in wanting to understand them completely and wanting to know them mentally before anything else. The guys may say that’s putting it on the pedestal but I just like to call it preparing myself mentally for the wifey. In order to understand the ever emotional women in today’s society, you have to understand the causes of them becoming sappy. A gentleman could and would listen to them, but an ABSTRACT gentleman would take a step back and think on it for a while, thinking of all possible reasons and ways to correct this problem. We listen, but do not speak, think but do no reveal, speak but do not lecture. In order to understand an abstract gentleman, you must put all hormones to the side and think of man and women on a spiritual level. Are we here to bang each other but are we here to help each other? Most people say its the latter option, but do not conduct themselves in actions that would affirm those sentiments. Our generation is one that will affect the world for years to come and we MUST set an example for the coming generations. Well, that was me in the fewest amount of words I could put together, now it’s time to get back to dating advice haha..

…Until We Meet Again

– That Abstract Gentleman

From Lack of Communication…to Too Much

Well hello again!

In my first blog about dating and relationships, I discussed how in most scenarios of today, couples do not speak enough. I’m sure its either happened to you in a relationship or it will eventually, but there is a contrast to that “lack of communication”. You CAN have too much communication in a relationship and it could bore the hell out of you and/or your partner.

Real talk, these days people got all these social networking profiles,phones, PDAs, and it just makes people that much more accessible. You see girls and guys in a relationship who actually talk to each other too much. Understand that when I say that, that I do place a high emphasis on speaking with one another because you never know when you could lose that one person, but you could also say too much to them. You don’t want to be in a relationship where you literally have nothing to say to each other when you’re in each other’s presence because you texted them all day, do you? Your significant other has your twitter/myspace/facebook/skype/etc etc and you always seem to know what each other is doing, but you feel the need to talk 24/7?
I’ve been there personally and it’s not fun at all, awkward silences suck BIG time. For a relationship to succeed you have to maintain that balance of talking too much and too little, which is not hard to do, you just have to be consistent with it. Have you ever had those days where it felt like you had a cloud over your head and thought about calling or talking to your significant other for just a second to cheer yourself up? Well, think about applying it to your relationship. The opposite end of that is that you could have been talking to that significant other all day and they really didn’t help that much, possibly adding onto the stress or not being of any help at all.

Had you maintained that balance then you’d feel that much better talking to them at that *low point* so they can uplift your spirits right(unless you’re just some big pessimistic individual lol)? You’d look forward to talking to them instead of dodging their texts/calls because we all know someone that dodges calls from their boyfriend or girlfriend haha. You’ll hear people talking about “she won’t leave me alone” or “he’s always calling me!”, funny right? Why are they saying that? It could be in large due to the fact that you may talk TOO much. Like seriously, why are you going to text ALL day and expect to have a full on conversation when you meet up? Okay, there are those exceptional instances where you’re maybe traveling and assuring safety, but you really want to make those words stand out to each other. I mean let’s be serious, you can’t REALLY run out of things to say each other, but you can make your conversations that much more dull by speaking too often about nothing.. Do I seriously need to know what you’re doing in the next 5seconds or tell you what time I’m going to be leaving the restroom? People, let’s just try to maintain that balance and keep those words that you do speak to each other, special.

Personally, I place more emphasis on words rather than physical presence because of that, making words THAT much more impacting to me, but that’s another rant that I’ll dive into at the next appointed time. 😉

Until we meet again

— That Gentleman

Where does the script stop?

They do say,”everything happens for a reason”, right? That just depends if you believe in “free will”, but we do have logic for reason.

As I sit and look out the window, i can see a plane flying through the distant blue skies and it makes me wonder. The plane knows where it’s going right? Shouldn’t I know where MY plane is going? If you travel, you know where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Some may even just take off spontaneously, but in the back of their mind they have a destination. Where does my destination take me? There is one thing that speaks to me more than anything and through it, I never lose sight of the end.

Often, I am searching for any piece of insight that can help me find where I truly want to be, not mentally, but spiritually. Music touches my soul and I never feel lost within it, but its not my current track. The track that I walk on is not filled with harmony, musical notes, and great composers. I am the composer, not yet great, but I am missing one piece of me, my motivation. I carry great visions of success and pictures for my future, as it only began not too long ago, or what seemed like not too long ago. If my life were a song, I envisioned it in winning a Grammy for “Song of a Lifetime”. Drake said he was “24hours from greatness,”so I guess that makes me 2:04 from my dreams. My song doesn’t repeat, it plays only once and in that short time I must make the most of it. There is no intro, no drumbreaks, just solid playing from a piano, the instrument of my mind…cascading up and down to symbolize my trials and tribulations. It slows at times, but catches speed again when my ambitions are clear and my mind is focused. My mistakes can be easily overpowered by my successes in this song, hoping that to others, it’s a song to remember. When its over, I want to say I touched someone’s life with my song and not just mine. The script to that song is etched in my soul and I must continue reading it until the days that I can no longer read any further, leaving a song that in my heart, is unfinished…but to others and the ONE above, it’s complete. Write your script, learning from your mistakes to make amends for them later down the line.

Until We Meet Again

That Gentleman

Are You Where You Want To Be In Life?

Your life, like this blog’s name, REALLY has no script. One minute you could have something planned out and a second later, the plans ruined. You ever felt like that? I know I can’t be the only one who’s life is generally planned, but tends to deviate off course. Maybe sometimes I write outside of the lines on my canvas, it just feels as though my mind can’t be controlled at times. You have a million things running through your head, but you can’t concentrate on just ONE thing, which can drive you crazy.

The pen to my canvas, yes I said pen because you can’t go back in time and erase previous actions, it moves so fast, making smooth and swift strokes on my script. It’s quite mind boggling, watching it at work, a true out-of-body experience. But you see, my script isn’t a script to an epic movie, it’s a silent drama, only felt through the emotions seen on one’s face. Sure you can read what I write, but would you feel the way I felt when I wrote it? Doubt it.. Many have creative imaginations, it’s just that ONE imagination can’t be duplicated. You can’t make another Einstein, another Martin Luther King Jr, or another Hendrix…You just can’t but you can look at their works in retrospect and soak in it’s greatness.

Despite what science says, you can’t duplicate a person, and you can’t duplicate an ORIGINAL script. Your own life script may tend too be kind of hazy in an unorganized chaos way, but your dreams are perfectly imperfect, leaving you the necessary room needed to grow. So with that being said, the script to life is yours to make what you want of it in the short time that you do have, so use every tool you can garner to make it a masterpiece…because you only get one chance to write it.

Till we meet again..

-That Gentleman